everyday parables, faith, life together, marriage

dreaming for the sake of others

My husband’s love language is dreaming. The eyes of his heart are roaming and keen, restless until the day they find peace in the sight of God’s kingdom. But so long as that new heaven and new earth remain hidden, his eyes wander, gathering hope in the most unlikely of places, including his wife’s timid and fretful spirit.

The broken ground of this new life means that my own ability to dream–once such an enormous part of my life–has been shaken out of sleep. This awakening has been both hard and sweet: hard because I have realized that most of my dreams over the past decade have been for myself. I have imagined any number of happy scenarios for my own future, but I have not dreamed much for the sake of others. This has been a failure of imagination, a failure of love, and I have repented of it. With that confession, though — such sweet relief. Dreams that once seemed too grand for “real life” suddenly glimmer with real possibility. And why? Because my private hopes no longer need to be enough. The little garment of my ambitions are not enough to keep anyone else warm, but just imagine how much more they can do if I see my dreams as one strand that I weave into something much larger. Alongside this man I’ve married, I am learning to dream not only for myself or our household, but for and with others.

This task–learning to dream for others–is one of the great and difficult works I’m undertaking in wisdom’s workshop. How can I dream with and for you in this season? If you will, use the “connect” tab and let me know on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or an old-fashioned letter.

Finally, if you’re in the Austin, Texas area and would like to continue this conversation face to face, I’m leading a seminar entitled “Crying for a Vision: Reclaiming Imagination for the Common Good.” It will be a four-week series, beginning Tuesday, September 15 at 7 PM. Sponsored by The Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture, we will meet at 1611 West Ave. Austin 78701. I would be honored and delighted to see some of you there.

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faith, homelessness, life together, marriage

Washed and worn

We weep because we’ve lost the road that once rolled clear before us. Because we see pain we can’t allay, or because we know we caused the hurt and harm. We weep when we feel ourselves pregnant with sorrow, admitting that we are heirs to robbers and thieves. We cry ourselves to sleep, and the tears fall like rain over battlefields in our dreams. We weep stones and jewels and seeds, so hard even in their beauty. We weep because a new day is coming, and we don’t know what its name will be. We turn to stone, and still the tears fall, washing away the proud outlines of our faces and pedestals.

But sweet, oh how sweet, when, washed and worn, flooded and found, we find ourselves small again, able to glimpse a peace that no dry eye has ever seen.

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life together, marriage

scarce data, abundant stories

Living on a property that has limited electricity and mail delivery that remains sporadic means that subscribing to a normal Internet subscription is not yet an option. Thus, our household web access comes from a “hotspot.” It draws from our family cellular data plan, and so gigabytes have become a scarce resource. Since streaming services eat up the most data, this has meant no Netflix, no Youtube videos, no streaming music, and (worst of all) no Skype dates. Even with these restrictions, we barely make it through a month without going over (and I don’t even have a smartphone). It is definitely, definitely a first-world problem, but it has been one of the hardest aspects of this season. I feel disconnected, sick of all my music playlists, and–since most of my books are packed away in storage–cut off even from the knowledge feeds me.

But the sweetness? By depriving us of any passive forms of entertainment, our data scarcity has reminded me how many stories hang in the air all around us, waiting to be savored. For the last several nights, my husband and I have been reading from a book that a dear friend put in my hands just before the moving truck left Alabama. It’s Roger Lancelyn Green’s tales of Robin Hood, and the stories are enough to make even a grown man’s eyes flash. Enough to make a me feel so close to the friend who gave it to me — closer even than Skype.

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baking, faith

tiny oven, full table

The oven is tiny. Each use requires that I crouch down try, often unsuccessfully, to kindle the pilot light. I don’t really ever know what temperature it has reached. And yet: from this little heat-cave comes good food. Even better: we have friends, nearly every night, to come and share the feast with us. Not once has there been too little to share.

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