faith, life together

A Friend to Sorrow

It is hard to be a friend to Sorrow. She slips in at the least convenient times, always uninvited. You may sit down at the family table, close your eyes to say grace, and feel her cold, strong hand take hold of yours. Or she may slip into your quiet bed, wrapping you in her gown of her grey, rain-soft silk.

At other times she rages: shattering every mirror in the house, overturning the Christmas tree, shaking us by our shoulders until our teeth ache.

We grant her rights at funerals, and grudgingly admit her to hospital rooms. In the autumn, and in certain hours of the evening, we notice that she walks with a kind of grace.  But come sunrise and summer, out she goes, banished through the backdoor.

It is hard to be a friend to Sorrow. She speaks a language we have labored to forget, and her veil makes us nervous, like one who is foreign or deformed. Many, hearing her approach, run away, abandoning home for the sake of escape. Even the best of us grow shy in her presence, baffled by our own helplessness.

It is hard to be a friend to Sorrow, but when she comes, do not drive her out. Offer her a chair and set the tea in front of her. Ask her why she’s come, or if you cannot speak for fear or shame, then simply sit, and let her rest with you. If you let her roam the rooms of your house, you may be surprised to catch her singing a song your mother used to hum.

She attends every birth, dances at every wedding, and has the key to every home. If you open when she knocks, she will not need to batter down the door. So sit with her, and listen, and one day, when you have grown brave again, ask her to remove her veil.

It is hard to be a friend to Sorrow, but we dare not drive her out: for her other name is Love.

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